Dear Dan,
I didn't leave the house today because I was afraid I'd see you out and about in the old neighborhood. I guess I'm a little afraid you'll make me go back to that horrible laminate cabinet in that dark dark corner of the city; but more than that I think I'm afraid you'll never even notice I've left. What happened to us Dan? I thought I meant something to you. Would you have preferred to bring home a miniature version of that winged dinosaur you got so excited about at the museum? Well I've got news for you - he wouldn't have been nearly as cute as ME.
Yours truly,
Leo, the Liaoning dinosaur
P.S. I heard you got some dirty grass horses or something. If you think you're going to make me jealous you've got a lot to learn. I'm more than a politically charged internet meme - I'M A GODDAMN GIANT OF PREHISTORY!
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